New Teacher Survivor Series

Part #11 - Dealing with People

Introduction:  Probably the most difficult thing about being an Agricultural Education instructor is dealing with people.  As an Ag teacher you must work with a wide variety of people on a daily, weekly, and yearly basis.  Over the years the faces will change.  You may even move to a different school or program; however, the same situations will always play out.  With this in mind, here are a few situations that you might face or maybe have even already had to work through.  Along with these situations are a few words of advice.  Use them as you deem necessary…and by the way, don't think that this is a comprehensive look at all the situations or that the advice will always work.  Good luck.

Rules to live by:

1. It is best that you not become social friends with parents of students in your classes, or major contributors to program.  They will always expect special treatment.  It will also cause problems if you have to discipline their child.

2. You must maintain a relationship where you are the Ag teacher.  You are the man/woman in charge.  You went to college and were hired to do this job.  Don't be closed-minded to suggestions, but always maintain that you make the final decision.

3. Be active in the community and at other school functions.  Be a regular at basketball games, football games, and even go to a music or band program on occasion.  Your students will probably be involved in these activities too.  This will build a sense of comfort with parents, board, and administration.

4. Be open to suggestion, but do not let people bash or belittle you while they are addressing you.  Let them know if they want to discuss the issue that is fine; however, you will not be yelled at or discuss the problem in front of everyone…especially the kids.

5. Always take care of problems dealing with students as they arise.  Don't procrastinate. In addition, handle the situation with discretion.   Don't belittle a student in front of their peers.

6. Avoid chasing rumors.  Keep your eyes open, but don't let petty gossip worry you sick.  If someone asks you if you have heard something, tell him or her I haven't hear a thing.  If you know someone is bashing you, address the issue with him or her one-on-one.

7. When addressing a patron one-on-one, be cautious not to let them draw you into petty bickering.  Ask them if they have problems or concerns with what you are doing with their child or child's project.  Don't bring in other students.  If they say no, then ask them about what you have seen and heard.  If they say yes, listen.  If their concerns are something you can explain, then explain.  If their concerns are irreconcilable differences then let them know why you can't change what you're doing and suggest a clean break.  There is always 4-H.

8. Mothers can be the worst.  Remember that is their baby you are disciplining, lecturing, or making feel bad. There is nothing worse than a mad momma.  However, they will get over it if the situation plays out to the good.  If they determine your methods are fair or if their child works through it, you should be O.K.  However, if it goes bad, you might as well come to grips that this person will always hold a grudge.

9. Dads on the other hand can work through situations.  If your discipline and methods of handling students are firm and fair, the dads you want supporting your program will be loyal.

10. Problems arise when people perceive they or others have power over you or the program.  If others have the power to make decisions, it creates jealousy.  Then comes the bickering and arguing.  They will argue over things that are unimportant just to jockey for position.  You must always be the last word.  You must always be the leader of the program and the activities associated with the program.

11. Being the last word does not mean that you are not open to suggestions and/or input from your supporters.  It means that after you have heard all the input, if there is any, you have used your experience, knowledge, and their input to make the decision that is best for the students and program.

12. Where and when you talk to supporters and students is as important as what you say to them.  What gripers want is an audience.  Give them the opportunity to make a scene and they will.  That is what they want.  That is how they feel they can gain support for their cause.  This goes for students and parents.  What you want to do is diffuse their strategy.  Here's how:

1. Tell them quickly that this isn't the time or place to discuss this matter and you would be available later.  Then walk away or go on doing what you were doing.  If they insist to the point where you cannot avoid a discussion, ask them to go somewhere else before you talk.

2. If they come to your building during school time, you need to quickly let them know that this is not the time and that you will be available after school.

3. If you think the situation is volatile, arrange a meeting with the principal, you and the concerned parent.  Inform the principal ahead of time what is happening and the circumstances that have built up to this point.

4. If you know a parent or supporter is calling a meeting with the administration to bash you, meet with the administrator ahead of time and let them know you will not sit there while this person criticizes you and your program.  You will listen if they have suggestions, however, you don't think that this will be the case.

5. Phone calls are an easy way for people to vent on you without actually looking into you eyes.  This is very common.  If you get a phone call that begins with, "I've got a problem with you", stop them quickly.  Tell them that you will be in the office from blank to blank and if they want to discuss the matter they can come up at that time.  Don't argue over the phone.

6. Remember students try the same strategies as parents.  Where do you think they learned them?  Also, if a student says something that sounds like an adult said it, then it is probably being said at the house.

Final Word:

Teaching Ag should be and most of the time is one of the most rewarding things you can do.  You will see changes in kids that you helped to make.  You will see kids glow with enthusiasm and pride at their successes.  Also, you can see that you make a difference in the lives of young people.  Unfortunately, there are those out there that miss the true meaning of what we do.  They are jealous of what we do; they are petty and spiteful at your success, they don't want your job, but don't want you to succeed.  Others are embarrassed that you know more than they do and still others want to be in charge.  They don't want any of the responsibility but they want to make the decisions.

The life of an Ag teacher is not easy.  The friends you can make are few.  The people that you do social activities with are few.  However, this doesn't mean you should be a hermit.  Try and make friends with those who are not associated with what you do.  Make friends with those who don't have students in your program.  Keep in perspective the fact that those you work for and the students you work with are not your family. 

We are in this profession because we want to help young people.  That's what we do.  We build success.  With that comes a sense of commitment to the student.  With that comes caring.  We can't stop that, however, we can prepare for the letdowns.  It cannot be stressed enough that you must be prepared for situations such as those mentioned in this information.  You should also be prepared for those that are not.  People are unpredictable. 

When in doubt call your Program Specialist or a neighbor Ag teacher.

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